Cutting words


Emotions move from light to dark
Words you say cut sharp like a knife
And I feel the weight
The venomous hate
And I think to myself
Walk on and away,
To step outside
The merry-go-round of life
A battle of ego
I cannot, will not relate
As this is beyond the fare of peace
And I cannot dwell
In the drama found there.
He came for me
In the depths of dreams
And I walked beside him
In a euphoric state
But the others came
With their hate filled lies
And I felt sad to be there
In this world where forgiveness is forgotten
And the pain is held too tightly
Like grasping the poisonous viper
I let it go
I set it free
And thus have found the well within me
Full to overflowing
The bounty of goodness
Washing over the evil
That I never understood.

Thoughts on why drama thrives on and the people who have forgotten that by forgiving others, they will save themselves and free themselves to find the peace they crave. Just meandering thoughts….thanks for listening my friends.

The needed gift


I was angry.
I was so angry I could spit nails and I wasn’t happy about that fact.
I am peaceful
I am Zen
And here I was like a dark storm that later came into being
But now, at this moment I was just plain old pissed off.
The dogs had run off while my back was turned and I thought they were being supervised by the other half, but they weren’t.
And I could feel my mellow mood escalate
I could feel the pressure rise
And the clouds grey dark above me and within me
And I walked.
I walked through the forest calling
Listening
And I was not in control
And I was angry
Because I wasn’t in control
And the winds picked up
And tree branches snapped and I knew the storm was coming
And I so badly wanted to lash out,
To kick a tree
To yell at the world
To spill my venom on the universe
And I couldn’t find them
And I was afraid
Of the what ifs and such
And I knew the moment of the highest point of mood
And found myself at the lowest
And I stopped.
I closed my eyes and. Just. stopped.
Find the middle, yes, find it.
I looked at my feet and there was a dainty feather
A bit mussed but I stroked it gently and a smile came from within.
More I said, I want more to the air that had become still
And I took a few more steps and here was a larger black almost perfect feather.
I bent down and looked at it, at its beauty and laughing out loud proclaimed,
Surely you can top this. I want one more.
Ten feet later a turkey feather lay below a tree.
Perfect clean, and gorgeous. I gently picked it up and held all three knowing I was ready.
I turned and headed for home, feeling that peace wash over me as the pressure subsided and the sky waited for me to stop and pick some plump blackberries, tasting their not quite ready sourness but enjoying the gifts regardless.
I had lost the anger.
I had found the middle.
The dogs sat on the porch out of breath and waiting, excited to see me.
I don’t know where they went.
I don’t know where my mind went for that short dark time
But we were home again. In the middle where we belonged.
As the door closed behind us, the crack of lightning filled the air and the rain fell like a thunderous waterfall. Winds forcing the water in and I turned the knob to the windows and I left them slightly ajar, not yet ready to lose the freshness, like my thoughts, letting the clean air in while pushing out the dark dank bitterness that slowly seeped away like the rain that ran like a river, down the hill and away.

Being


In this moment there is
Control
Steadiness
A step off of the carousel
That is you.
In this second there is a clarity
Like each time before
Day after day
The circle turns
Like a distant song remembered
Of watching the wheels
But they do only that,
Go round and round
And when the tread slips
They wobble so unsure
Unsteady,
And then it is the role
Protector to hang on
Or to let go,
To let lessons be learned
And as the heart dies just a bit more
With the knowing of the pain,
The mind logically says
It will be okay
Let it be
Let it go
Set it free.
The hardest lessons
Knowing the path to take
And the knowing
Yet being yet again held back
To trust foolishly
And once more to be sidelined
By the coach who doesn’t want to know
The rules are there for reasons,
The narcissist feels not the application,
Just the succumbing once more
Of the subversive
Waiting to rise
To be heard.